I am a pretty [singing] voice.

It feels shameful to me that it is taking me so long to brainstorm much else to answer this question. My voice is my identity. It often feels the apex of my character. When I am sick, lose my voice, or it weakens for any stretch of time, I actually find myself sunk into a depression because without it…who am I? As time has made me sometimes feel like I’ve been a multitude of different women – this one thing remains constant, fragile, and precious to me – regardless of the seasons that change me. I have always found joy in singing. I have found stress relief in singing. A lot of people don’t know anything about my personality, but they know the voice…for better or for worse. My vocal musicality defines me, and it genuinely makes me happiest.

Okay…so who am I…without my voice…

I am an introverted extrovert. My friends are few, but close, and I would venture to say they would just call me an extrovert because I am rather unguarded with them, and in the situations when I am with them. I love to be social, and connect with other people, but I am more of an active listener when I meet new people, rather than someone who shares much of herself. I am empathetic, and compassionate toward others. I like to give people the opportunity to share their own stories and feelings, versus me sharing mine. Sometimes (not always), I find I will bottle things up even with the people I love the most, if it means I can be a listening ear for them.

I am incredibly patient. I used to be a middle school and high school English teacher, and in my current profession, I still work with children in a choir, and in a youth group. I rarely lose my temper with the young people in my life, even in moments of frustration. This patience extends into my personal life with my family and friends. It is incredibly rare that I will lose patience with anyone [except myself – ultimately, if I lose patience with a loved one, I’m then angry at myself for misdirecting my frustration].

I enjoy the novelty to traveling to new places, and both seeing and experiencing the excitement those places have to offer. I am a genuine lover of learning, and typically quick to pick up on most things (even though lately, my depressive funks have kept me from exploring and practicing new interests in my free time). I would love to tap back into these parts of me. I know they are still such a huge part of who I am…I’ve just lost them somehow.

I am a cat lover, and surprisingly, a dog lover too (though honestly, just the one dog that works at the office). I am a foodie, and enjoy cocktails with friends. I am a particularly hard worker, and my work ethic is hard to match. I am a devoted daughter, my siblings’ best friends, a loyal, caring wife, and an engaged friend. I prefer to do the things I love with someone I care about with me, as opposed to doing things alone. My enjoyment level for things increases greatly with a “partner in crime.”

All the above said, I also can’t ignore that I can be moody, prone to rumination, an anxious “future-predictor,” and melancholic, sometimes with little warning. My “triggers” evoke immediate visceral responses from me. These are the parts of me that color my daily life, and lately I feel like they color over the good parts of me more than I would like.